My son hears God's voice...

Something I want more than anything is for my kids to recognize the voice of God.  I can't remember when I started praying this over them - or what prompted it, but "Teach him to know your voice," has been an almost nightly whisper over each little head on the pillow.

Probably because I struggle so much with this myself.  I don't want this frustration for my kids.  He tells us that His sheep know His voice - and I can recognize it when it's a matter of conscience, or something that I need to line up with the Word and then make my decision.
But how about whether to step out of my comfort zone?  How about whether to work or stay home with my kids?  How about when wanting to hear a response to "Search me and know me".  And right now my big battle is, "What do I let by the guards to my kids' hearts, and what do I stand firm and block even when every other parent thinks I'm weird?"

Adrian's friends at school - even the "church" ones are quite into the Harry Potter books right now. He came home and asked if he could read the books.  He'd already started the first one at school and found it quite interesting.
My response is always the same - let's look it up online and decide if this is something you want to feed your spirit. 
He discovered that Harry Potter is a boy who attends Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.  Harry ends up with many powers - and practices a "good" or white magic, as opposed to "dark" or bad magic. 
I showed Adrian that God's Word tells us
“There shall not be found among you anyone who …practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead.”Deut. 18:10-12
Then I asked Adrian if he still wanted to take this into his heart.  He shocked me by saying, "Yeah - because it sounds really interesting." 

We dug further and found the adults are depicted as hateful and perhaps strict. Then noted how these wizards and other creatures are the good guys. This undermined the structure of family and authority in general.  The author is quoted as saying "The idea that we could have a child who escapes from the confines of the adult world and goes somewhere where he has power, both literally and metaphorically, really appealed to me."

Adrian and I discussed the danger of viewing us parents and other authority as hateful and wrong and without his best interests in mind.  He still thought he'd like to read the books. 
The distinction between good and bad can become blurred as both the "good" and "evil" characters participate in different types witchcraft and magic
John Buckeridge, editor of the British Christian magazine Youthwork,  foresees serious danger ahead. "The growing number of books and TV shows like Harry Potter and Sabrina the Teenage Witch encourage an interest in magic as harmless fun... However, for some young people it could fuel a fascination that leads to dangerous dabbling with occult powers. So what starts out as spooks and spells can lead to psychological and spiritual damage."

So I asked Adrian if he thought maybe this could lead him to places in his heart that he didn't want to go.  I asked if he trusted me and that I preferred him to make better choices of content to fill his mind and heart with.  Adrian told me he trusted me, but that he really wanted to read the book since his friends said they were so good.

Adrian has not always enjoyed reading.  This has been an uphill battle for us, and we are at a place now where he is looking for good books. 
But an analogy I read recently made me stop and think.  It goes like this:  My child needs medicine.  He doesn't want to take the medicine.  I put it into a sweet drink to make it more palatable, and I give it to him even though there are trace amounts of arsenic in it.  At least we are getting the medicine in, right?
Is that what we do to get our kids reading - say anything goes into the spirit, because at least we are getting them reading?

 I foolishly assumed that so long as I gave my kids all the information and they understood what it was they were getting into, that they would make a healthy decision regarding their spirits.  And I can guard that heart and spirit as a parent - but only for so long.  Adrian is 12 - he needs to be practicing making these decision for himself.  And how will I stop him from reading these books at school or at a friend's?  I can put my foot down to make myself feel better - but my son still needs a heart of submission for this to work.
I was going out with my sister for coffee, so I put my son to bed and asked him to spend 20 minutes talking to God.  "Just ask Him to speak to you," I suggested as I often do.
 
Then I went out with my sister and vented, "What should I do?  Should I home school?  How can I get him to make choices based on what is good content - not on what sounds fun or that friends are doing?  Am I stifling him?  Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?  What if this is just the beginning and he makes other choices that I would prefer he not make?  I'm losing control!  My kids are growing up!  I want Jesus to come back tonight!!"

The next morning at breakfast I looked at my sleepy - eyed son and asked, "So, did you ask God about Harry Potter last night?"
"Yeah."  (It really bugs me with boys that you have to ask for every detail - they won't just offer me information as I try to understand their ever changing brains.)
"So - what did God say?"  Oh God, please have said something!   Please let my boy know your voice!
A sheepish grin and a sound of resignation as Adrian tells me, "God told me 'Not right now and I'll explain later'."
And that was it. 
All my internet research and reasoning and explanations had failed to move my son's decision. 
But 7 words whispered by Father into his heart and he found the answer.

This learning to trust Father with my kids takes on new shades and textures all the time.  I'm so aware right now, that I am not in control.  I don't like not being in control.  Another reminder - God does a better job of guiding my children than I do...