Sunday, May 18, 2014

Changes

After the coldest Manitoba winter in the past 80 years or so, we are headed south!

Actually our move south has been in the works since before we knew this winter would be so long and difficult.  The lack of sun for such long periods of time has been the hardest part for me – making days like yesterday all the more awesome.   And in His wisdom I think God knew that this past super frosty season would help with the leaving a little bit.

We announced our resignations at the church at the end of April.  How do you prepare to say good bye to people who have loved and lived with you for over a decade?  Most of all feelings I have gratefulness.   Words of life, actions of life have been the offerings of our church family to us so many times – especially since so much of our own families don’t live close by.  Our kids have been offered substitute aunts, uncles, and cousins in the form of church family.  God is good – so good to have set these people in our path long before we would know how much we needed them.

Memories have flooded me in the recent weeks.  The Sunday school teacher whom my son begs to go sit with during service, who puts his arm around my son and looks completely not bothered by the wiggling and turning.  So often I’d suddenly need to attend to something during the service, and I’d scan the rows for someone to watch my kiddos.  There was always someone to scoot over and hold out an arm to Kaden or Carson and welcome them into their family unit – and I’d come back to find one of my sons with their head in someone’s lap having their back rubbed and hair finger-combed while listening to Pastor Weldon preach. 

What a compliment? (or I don’t really know what to call it) we were given last Sunday when our family tumbled through the doors before classes started.  Like usual we were a little early so our noise is more noticeable in the empty foyer.  Kaden & Carson race each other, with some shoving, to get to their class first.  Madison is calling for my keys for something, and Adrian is trying to kiss Bronwyn which ends up in her screaming “Stop it!”  And someone truly precious walks up to me and says this is what she will miss when we are gone - the Shelveys’ rambunctious entrance into church week after week. 

We have two stuffed animals in our house that have been with us forever. Carson received these from teachers at some point in his early Sunday school years.  One is Whitey (yes, it’s a plain white dog), and the other is a large, grey dog named Phillip (I have no idea why).  They are still important to him, so much so that Bronwyn has picked up on the value of Phillip, and now she claims that one is hers and carries it around stuffed up inside her shirt with the head sticking out her neck hole. 

Madison and Adrian have both chosen to live for Christ, and declare Him as Lord of their lives by being baptized in the past few months.  Church friends rallied around them, and church family as well as my family cheered them on and promised prayers for them as they move more surely into their independent faith journey.  Church aunts and uncles have come by and written or spoken words of life and encouragement and truth to these two as they made this choice.  They have held, hugged and loved my teenagers when life has seemed unsure.  How does one ever say thank you for that?

Most often the first person we see when we walk through the church doors on Sunday morning is Pastor Weldon.  In order to be there so consistently Holy Spirit must prompt him (or he can hear us coming long before we get through the second set of doors).  And he calls my husband and boys “son”, and my daughters “sweetheart” and they know the father of the house loves them and they are welcome in God’s house.  And when they come across church-going judgmental hypocrites my kids will remember true acceptance and love from their first pastor who set the standard.

We came to this church somewhat wounded from different past experiences.  The staff and leadership team has offered us grace.  Grace in the form of encouraging words, patience as we grew and healed, and trust with the children and youth of this church.  The complete lack of reprimands and criticism and judgment has not been lost on us.  It has created an environment where God has led us to a new confidence and understanding of our identity in Christ, and His amazing love and plan for our lives.  We can only hope to give that support back to people God puts in our path in the coming years. 

My kids are losing most of what is familiar to them.  We are nudging them to see their own choice to be obedient to God’s call to a new place – not just a forced change of location by Mom & Dad.  We love our street.  Scotia Drive is the only home any of my kids have had or remember they’ve had.  We have the most awesome neighbours across the street – and you don’t get to pick those when you move somewhere.  And my aunt and uncle live down the street.  We are guaranteed at least several times a week to see Alvina walking past with a quick wave, or a “hang loose” from Curt on his bike or motorcycle.   We’ve loved that.

My kids love their Mama  & Papa.
My mom has been a constant source of unconditional love for all my kids – but especially the youngest three are still young enough to enjoy a sleep over at Mama’s, or icecream out with Mama, or playing board games with Mama.  Bronwyn says Mama’s bed is cozy, and hopes to get to go there for nap time.  Kaden knows she’ll make the best food that he likes, and she listens when he has a story to tell.  Carson finds Mama’s patience unending as he insists on “helping” with things in the kitchen.  They all feel at home at Mama & Papa’s, they walk in as if they belong there.  And according to Mama they do.  And with 15 grandchildren already under her belt, Mama seems excited to see who joins our family next.  And with God’s grace one or two more grand children won’t push Papa over the edge to insanity  ;) After all, if we let all the littles grow up too quickly, who will pull Papa’s eyelids open when he’s trying to nap on the couch?  Who will poke him in the cheek with his own toothpick, or find his jokes and tricks amazing?   And somehow I believe with all my heart that 1500 km will not weaken the relationship with Mama and Papa.

The teens are acting a little like they are in the pioneer days, and we are putting them in a covered wagon, headed away from the homeland, to a place where they may never see or speak to anyone they know ever again.  Facetime, Skype, Kik, Email, texting, airplanes, paved highways…  in an age of social networking & transportation, I have no concerns that my kids won’t stay connected to the friends and cousins that matter.  But it will look different.  And instead of sitting side by side watching a movie, maybe they will better learn to talk to one another.  But the quiet side-by-side is good stuff too…  I am so very thankful that God has placed Godly friends in my kids’ hearts. I will especially miss the howls and hoots when Madison and Adrian are watching a movie they have made with their cousins.  It’s most likely a western, and involves a clumsy criminal.  At least one character will have a very creative accent, and someone will get beat up.  Then they add subtitles, music and credits, before watching their own creation amidst gales of laughter.  Family and friends that give them good modeling, advice and entertainment are priceless.   

All this and many more memories buzz around my head as I price stuff for a yard sale, and box up what we can’t bear to part with (yes, Adrian, I did pack the pirate-faced coconut from Huntington Beach).
 
But God is so good. 
He’s promised us He will never leave us or forsake us.  He’s promised us the best is yet to come, and that He is the giver of all good gifts.  And He’s placed anticipation in our hearts.  We are excited to set out on an adventure.  We are looking forward to learning the business of property management under Dean’s dad’s instruction.  We are thrilled to be moving into a house with 7 bedrooms, among other details, that will make welcoming another little one into our family and homeschooling so much easier. We are excited to have 5 acres and plans for a couple horses and a dog and chickens and a vegetable garden and a riding mower... (ok – most of that is just Dean and the kids’ dreams coming true, but I’m already imagining the additional jewel in my heavenly crown for being willing to go along with this addition to our current circus). 



God has chosen a beautiful place for us to set up our tents (except it's right in the middle of Tornado Alley, so here comes the rehearsal of Psalm 91 again!), and He’s already provided a few familiar faces in Dean’s mom’s family that live in the area.  Already Adrian hangs on every word Uncle Rick says, just waiting to catch the dry humor that’s sure to come.  Already Bronwyn has decided she loves Auntie Sharon enough to give her a hug (those are doled our carefully by this girl).  Already my kids are feeling covered and cared for by Reggie and Jearldine, as they individually came to each of the kids when we were leaving Missouri this last time, and told them they were praying for them.  And then Uncle Reggie quietly stood on his driveway and told us, “God will work it all out.  He always does.” I was more than blessed.  When someone older tells you that, it somehow means so much.  He’s been around.  He’s seen some troubles.  But God will work it out.  He always does. 


So we will pull up our tent pegs in a few more weeks, pack away one set of passports and pull out another, and set out on an adventure.  It will probably look a lot like normal, everyday life.  But I know God has a plan. 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

It takes a village

Twenty-eight thousand dollars.  
That's what it will cost to ransom the next little life that we are waiting to welcome into our family.  Maybe most people have that sitting around and don't know what to do with it, but we didn't.  
But we knew what God was putting on our hearts to do, and so we began to work towards that big number: we sold our camper, we hoarded the income tax return, we had a garage sale... 
And as we did whatever we could, God began to work in bigger ways.  He put it on our hearts to host a silent auction fundraiser and information night at our church - it would raise money for our adoption process while we tried to share the needs of orphans around the world.
Then Wolfgang Schaefer and the Ironfist Taekwondo Club held a kick-a-thon fundraiser for us, and overwhelmed us with their hard work and generosity.  

And we've felt so grateful, and are excited to see the "adoption account" numbers rising.  We know God is showing us that He will provide for what He's leading us to do.

And now we have been invited to participate in the first Winkler Mother's Day Craft & Gift Show.  Shirley and Rebecca, the organizers have been crazy considerate of us!  They have asked us to serve a lunch, provided ideas for how and what to serve, and offered us the sole role of selling baked goods and snacks.  Then they offered me a craft table in a great location in the building, so I could sell my hand work and have further funds to put towards this adoption.  I'm humbled by their thoughtfulness and desire to see us succeed at this fundraiser.

So here's a sneak peek at what will be going on May 10 (Saturday) from 9:30 till 4:30 at The Bunker:
All sorts of donated AMAZINGLY yummy home baked goods, along with coffee, pop or water.  For lunch we will be serving a bowl of chili, a fresh homemade bun, and a drink for only $7.  Everybody is welcome!

And here's some of the hand work I'll be selling at our table, with all proceeds going towards our adoption expenses:












We can't say thank you enough to everyone that has joined this journey so far!  And there have been so many people willing to bring baking and chili on Saturday that I am blown away - we have been so supported all along this adoption process, and we are eagerly waiting to show a picture of our next child as soon as we get a referral!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone

This past Christmas we weren't yet sharing our precious news of a new baby somewhere in China. But privately I ached.
Where was this little one, away across the sea?  Was she being treasured and celebrated?  Was he hungry or cold?  Did any one come in the night to comfort her if she cried?  Was there someone to hold him in their arms and love him while I am waiting?

Then I found this blog post - I follow this blog, having found that the writer adopted their little girl from in the same city that we picked up our Bronwyn.  And when I arrived at the civil affairs office in Xi'an I found the room looked familiar, and the friendly orphanage director looked familiar, and I realized God had shown me months before through Kelly Raudenbush's blog where we would meet our daughter. It was familiar at a time when nothing else was.

When I couldn't even pull my scattered thoughts together to write coherently, I found something that expressed my heart better than I could myself.  A post from Kelly's own waiting days - the Christmas before they went to pick up their daughter.

"It’s a strange feeling this year, knowing that we have a daughter somewhere and she is not home with us. The only comfort in that is knowing that it is our last Christmas without her and the fact that we know that God is near to her and to all of the children who are without parents. May He hold her today for us and whisper in her ear that she is loved."



There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn,
Crying for mama’s arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are
But half a world away, I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It’s Christmas time again, but you’re not home
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone
And so tonight, I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I’m warmed by the fire’s glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow
But half a world away, you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven’s angels come to carry you here

It’s Christmas time again, but you’re not home
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone
And so tonight, I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart, I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate His perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It’s Christmas time again and now you’re home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I’ll hold you in my arms
And I’ll tell you from my heart, and I’ll tell you from my heart

I wish you Merry Christmas


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Here we go again!

I knew it before we did it last time.

Dean knew it before we even overcame jetlag from our first journey.

God knew it from the beginning of time. 
    Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.  Jeremiah 1:5
    For he chose us in him before the creation of the world.  Ephesians 1:4

"Why do you do it?"  
"What made you decide to adopt?"  
From the somewhat derogatory tones to the truly curious, we've been asked those two questions more times than I can count. 
The answer is more complicated and way more simple than is easily shared: God told us to.  37 times.  37 times in God's Word it commands us to look after the widows and orphans and foreigners.  So it wasn't a question of "should we?"  so much as "how should we?"  And for us it's to welcome a child into our arms and hearts forever.

Step by somewhat reluctant step I've been led into this world of orphans - and the stories and needs have changed me.  I want to block the sites that I so easily joined - stop seeing the constant broken little faces that show up in my email and on my facebook every day. Someone's advocating for one more little one.  
This one's about to age out - be sent to live on the streets because she's 14 and too old for institutional care.  
Another one has cuts and bruises from a rough environment and even rougher nannies.  He is 7 and weighs 24 pounds.
A little boy is covered in black birthmarks - nobody wants him.  All the world seems to be looking at the outward appearance, forgetting that God looks at the heart.
A little girl with cerebral palsy will likely never walk, and has trouble speaking.  Her only real problem is being unwanted.

And my heart pounds and I'm afraid.  I don't know much of anything about special needs.  I have five children already, and I don't want to hurt them.  I don't know if we can provide for another little one.  Will I ever sleep through the night?  I'm too old - or at least that's what some tell me.  

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.   James 1:27
Father God so gently nudges.  Quietly asks.  My spirit nods - I'm learning to trust that He is good and He might ask me to do hard things, but never anything that will hurt me or my family.  One small nod, and Holy Spirit bursts within me a passion for a child I've never met.  He creates within me the desire to mother another one.  

On Saturday, March 29th we are holding a silent auction to invite friends and family and anyone else to join us on this journey.  The introvert in me has had a hard time with this.  This is my secret.  I want to do this myself - just Dean and I and the kids.  But again I nod and excitement grows to share our news and invite others into our joy.

Bidding begins at 7p.m. at Christian Life Centre.   Everyone is welcome to come and bid on tables of wonderful donations.  Coffee (Jonny's Java!!) and desserts will be available, as well as two other ways to partner with us.  
A Chinese auction ( I love that it's called that:) table will hold a variety of other donations. Tickets can be purchased and put towards any of these items, with a draw being held at the end of the evening.  
Another table will be covered in red envelopes.  Each envelope has a dollar amount written on it, and all the envelopes tally up to $5150.

Money raised from any of these events will go towards adoption costs (specifically the international agency fee for registration and translation, as well as the China government dossier authentication process.)  
Except the money from the red envelope table.  When we go to pick up our child, an orphanage donation must be paid.  This is meant to cover the nutritional, physical and medical costs of our child up to that point, as well as go towards the care of other children that will be staying at the institution.  Each province dictates the exact amount - which usually lands between $5000 and $5500.  Any money that is donated via red envelope will go towards these orphanage costs.

Do we know if we are getting a boy or a girl?  No.
Do we know if he/she will have a missing limb, or a cleft palate or downs syndrome?  No.
Do we know what this will look like every step of the way?  No.
Hillsong United expresses our hearts pretty well:
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw


“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” 
― C.S. LewisThe Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe