"GOD IS ALWAYS AT WORK AROUND US... THE QUESTION EACH OF US MUST ASK IS, WILL I JOIN HIM OR WILL I ASK HIM TO JOIN ME? ONE WAY WORKS, THE OTHER DOES NOT. I FOUND OUT LONG AGO THAT GOD DOES NOT NEED MY LOFTY PLANS. HIS WERE MUCH BETTER."
~from Two Crosses by Elizabeth MusserEvery once in a while I get feeling impotent. I want to be more of a world-shaker than a middle-aged mom on the prairies. More honestly, I don't really want to be a world-shaker, but I FEEL like I SHOULD be more of a world-shaker.
I'm really happy where God has placed me, but quite often lately I get drenched in "WHY". Why am I so blessed? What makes me different from the starving woman longing to feed her children on another continent? Why did God bless me with more family and friends than I know what to do with? Why did he gift me with my amazing sons and daughter that love the Lord and care about other people, and have bright minds and strong bodies? Why did I have parents that stayed together and focused on raising us to know our heavenly Father? Why do I have a husband that treats me better than I deserve?
And there is no answer to those questions - besides a grateful heart. But the overflow of a grateful heart is always a return of blessing, a giving back of reward, an offering of praise. And I struggle with how to truly express that, so my mind conjures up images of me picketing an abortion clinic, or writing a thousand letters to my MP, or committing my foreseeable future to serving in an orphanage somewhere.
This quote is from an older novel - one I didn't even finish because I didn't find it interesting. But these words arrested me. "God does not need my lofty plans." What a relief! But the scary part is the earlier question she asked, "Will I join Him?" In the mundane? In the repetitive? In the daily grind? In the possible adventure? In the stretching and the unknown?
And my favorite part of this quote is the very first line: "God is always at work around us." How exciting! That gives such meaning to every part of our day.
He is at work!
For the past few months I've been trying to practice an "awakening". A conscious, purposeful awareness of God's presence in everything. In the morning I ask Him to nudge me, poke me, and remind me, "I am in this."
And He has!
All of us around the dinner table. nudge
My daughter laughing uncontrollably. poke
Tears and a clogged throat at a friend's son's funeral. nudge
A text from my husband that says I sure do love you. nudge nudge
Beautiful sunny weather every morning for swimming lessons. poke
A hilarious profile status from a good friend. nudge
Struggling for a response when someone misjudges my words. poke
Clear skies and an evening fire. poke poke
Knowing I'm forgiven, seeing a shrub has grown back after I over-pruned it, the echoes of a hammer as my son puts together his first club house, the smell of rain, my heart's longing for a child I've never even met, a perfect moon, an extra-capacity washing machine, a full freezer, figuring out how to pay an unexpected bill, joy at work...
"And so, the challenging thing becomes,
not to look for miracles, but finding where there isn't one.
Everything is holy now." ~Peter Mayer
~Everything is Holy Now ~ Peter Mayerhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaGnQc5Vmhs
(I'd argue the word "everything". More accurately it's God's Presence IN everything that is the holy part...)
