Waiting expectantly...

Sometimes God asks us to step out in ways that make our hearts pound...  Sometimes He asks us to be obedient and trust Him blindly...

For years Dean and I have agreed back and forth that if God ever asked us to open up our home to someone, we would definitely do it.  But we both thought that if that's what God wanted, He would bring it about.  It would just happen naturally, and we would not resist the flow of the Spirit.  A little apathetic, I know - but I comforted myself with the idea that I was willing to be obedient, should God ever make an obvious request of me.

When I was on maternity leave with Carson 6 years ago, I would lay on the sofa for a rest each afternoon, and each day at 2:30 a commercial would come on t.v. asking families to take in children from Nova Scotia who needed homes.  That heavy, aching, knowing feeling would fill me - but I was very pregnant, and not in a position to do anything...

But the conviction never left...  It went underground for a while (but I think it was just buried by the busy-ness of life after a fourth child - 2 already in school, one a toddler, and me trying to go back to work...). 

A couple years ago a girlfriend and I were talking - and she's such a risk-taker compared to me.  She mentioned wanting to adopt a child some day.   I just continued to listen to her dream, and asked as many questions as I could.  She showed me several websites from the States (we are both married to Americans) and the photolistings available through the U.S. agencies were extensive.  A new ache, a new knowing, a new "wail" began to build in me.

Every day that I'd turn on my itunes or a worship cd or my youtube music list, Hillsong's "SOLUTION" seemed to be playing, and the opening lines convicted me more deeply each time:

"It is not a human right to stare not fight, while broken nations grieve.

Open up our eyes so blind that we might find, the mercy for the need."

GOD, UNLIKE US DOES NOT VIEW THE 143 MILLION ORPHANS IN THE WORLD THE SAME WAY WE DO. HE DOES NOT SEE THEM AS ORPHANS, BUT INSTEAD HE SEES THEM AS HIS KIDS, AND HE IS HOPING THAT SOME OF HIS OTHER KIDS WOULD STEP UP AND JUST SIMPLY TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY ... THEIR FAMILY.

I approached Dean with the idea - but he's always been the one of us to say he wished we'd had at least one more baby (I was a barn with my last baby, and not willing to go that route again) - so I was surprised at how long he took to mull this over before he decided. 

I should have known - that's the way Dean works.  He will look at every angle - every option - every detail, because he wants to make the best decision possible.  That's fine when he's picking out a new lawnmower - but it was rather hard for me when I'd already given my heart away to 17 different children on Rainbowkids.com!

Dean threw his hat into the ring whole-heartedly, and I've loved watching this spiritual warrior take on a new mission of protection and prayerful guarding of a new little charge.

We will be bringing home our little (under 3 years of age) daughter from China - hopefully by the end of the year (any one who's done this knows that timelines are VERY flexible!).  We are more than excited, and knowing she's already born makes us feel the reality of Father caring for her while we can't.

Have we thought of things that could go wrong?  Of course.  Have people brought up every story they can remember of adoptions gone bad?  Pretty much.  What's our solid ground - our firm foundation?  There are over 300 verses in God's Word that tell us to care for the widow, the orphans and the poor.  Waiting for God to drop a basket on our doorstep was lidocaine for my conscience - a numbing of the calling God has been forming in my heart for years. 

A Godly and amazing woman sent this poem to me when she heard about our choice.  It's not the first time her mouth has been used by God to deliver a new perspective or moment of truth to me. 

I almost let fear over take my heart and not step forward for these kids.

I almost let the voice of others become my voice of reason.

I almost let my selfish ambition and dreams destroy this life.

I almost listened when some people called us crazy (to our faces) and wanted to become sane again.

I almost let the world's ideal become my reality.

I almost cowed from the courage inside placed by a King mightier than ever.

I almost chased a life not set out for me, to be ''liked'' again.

I almost believed it when I was told I was being selfish.

I almost MISSED OUT on this. I ALMOST MISSED OUT ON THIS!

Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.
For now we are waiting expectantly...



San Diego in March

We had a fantastic time in San Diego.  Of all the times we've travelled down to Cali, this was the first time without kids in 13 years.  Instead of the typical tourist-type things to do down south, we headed to a conference, and slipped in a few fun things as well.  Two of our "newer" hot spots were a whale-watching cruise 12 miles out to sea from the San Diego harbor, as well as an afternoon in Old Town San Diego with all its Spanish/Mexican flavor.

We stopped for fresh fish at the Bay Cafe right on the water, and then climbed aboard the Lord Hornblower:

Dean was dreading the time away on the water - and I told him I was sure that when I booked it I had seen it was an hour and a half long.  As the horn blew and the boat slowly moved out to sea, the captain informed us that we had purchased tickets for the 3.5 hour tour - not the 1 hour harbor cruise.  Dean groaned, but I was kind of excited - there's certainly nothing similar to this in southern Manitoba!

 This was the first day since the tsnumani following the earth quake in Japan, that boats were able to get back out on the water.  Millions of dollars worth of damage had occurred along the western coast of the U.S. San Diego harbor is protected by a very large out cropping of land that moves out from the mainland and swings down southward.  It's called Point Loma.  Within the protective arm of Point Loma, the waters were quite calm.  The water traffic was crazy busy - all the privately owned crafts were getting back out to sea, and the military base was anxious to get their ships back out to the open waters as well.

These mine-sweepers are built w/o any metal - carbon and fiber-glass only.  There was also a small boat with rubber rims around it and a little tent-type thing in the back.  As it went by we saw a dolphin in the little tent.  The captain told us that these boats carried dolphins and their trainers out to sea - and they were taught how to detect mines. 

The bottom and middle level of our boat had bars and tables - serving pizza, hotdogs, hot pretzels and other snacks.

We also got to see a military submarine heading out to sea - lowering into the water, and then doing maneuvers off in the distance with the periscope peeking up and down. As we headed back into the other side of the harbor there was a submarine machine-shop of sorts (Point Loma in behind it).

There had been beluga whales spotted on the day before the Japan earthquake.  This was noted as very strange - never seen before along this coast.  Then, the grey whales - which are seen on a daily basis at this time of year, were no where to be found when we went out.  We were offered free tickets to come back - but Dean just put his head in his hands and groaned. 
I tried to get him excited about the hundreds of dolphins that jumped through the waters as we sailed by - he was more interested in remaining as still as possible... See, the original boat that is used for these longer tours out to sea was in for repairs (we didn't know this before we left shore), and that larger boat even has stabilizers - we had NO SUCH SUPPORTS! 

The captain was quick to point out the crazy weird currents racing through the waters - an after effect of the tsunami / earthquake fiasco.  We were tossed back and forth a fair bit!

I tried to get Dean interested in all the California sea lions with their new babies on the fresh-bait docks... to no avail!

I thought for sure the huge re-fueling ship being tugged out to sea would interest him, or the massive freight-carrier with 5000 Japanese cars bound for the San Diego dealerships... nothing could distract Dean from his whirling head and tilting stomach...

Finally I got a little frustrated and said, "I've done a lot of things for you, Dean!  I'm sorry you don't feel good, but I really wanted to see all this, and I've done things you asked me to when I didn't want to.  Just think of all those roller-coasters I've gone on and I was so freaked out - but I did it - for you!"

He groaned / growled with with his head still in his hands, "I'm not afraid!  I wish I was afraid - I'd rather be freaked out..."  And I couldn't stop giggling at him for 3 days whenever I thought about it:)
In the end he tried really hard to be a good sport, and got a couple pix of us together...

MUCH more to Dean's liking was Old Town San Diego - it was wonderful!  All the little shops and adobe buildings and tile roofs, and unique plantlife... 

Fountains in courtyards, and outdoor patios with open fires to warm all the diners in the evenings. 

Hanging lanterns and jewelry shops with semi-precious stones found in the area are interspersed with museums and historical buildings. 


The highlight of the trip (besides getting in a bit of time with Dean's family again) was dinner one night at an authentic Mexican restaurant in Old Town.  We waited almost an hour to get in, but it was worth it - and we got to watch ladies hand-making corn and flour tortillas on a large flat grill.  Boy were they delicious when it was our turn to eat!  That, the fresh salsa, and the two Spanish guys who seranaded us with "Amore" on guitars, made for a fantastic night!