Has it been a month already?

Tomorrow is the one month mark since we were blessed with Bronwyn. 

It still seems surreal... the 4a.m. wake up call in Bejing... the early morning check out and breakfast on the tour bus... the long bus ride from the terminal to the tarmack and the crowd pushing to get on that plane... landing in Xi'an and meeting our guide... "Come.  We go to hotel and then leave to meet babies at 3:30."... stepping into our hotel room and seeing the crib set up next to our bed... the bus ride to the civil affairs office... the nervous chatting with the other families as we rode the elevator up to the 6th floor... and finally...

"Wei Xiaoqian!  Wei Xiaoqian!"  The nanny holding our baby was calling out her name for us to recognize and come to her.  I've played the video of Bronwyn being handed to me over and over:  her hesitant eyes, her gentle cries as she reached back for her nanny, and within a few minutes, the feel of her relaxing and snuggling onto my lap. 

She has fit so naturally and quickly into our family that it's hard to believe she hasn't always been ours.  

Although our doctor tells us she's in the 5th size perecentile for her age, I can easily see she's gained weight and is turning quite roly poly.  She gobbled the first lunch we ever fed her, and has never turned down a meal yet.  Her rounded cheeks and pudgy thighs are two of my many favorite things about this new little family member.



On her fourth day in our care I took a picture of her in the bathtub - her first tubby that lasted all of 10 seconds.  She didn't seem to like it - rather she didn't like it that she wasn't attached to my body.  I would describe Bronwyn as a Velcro baby those first couple of weeks.  So she cried. 

I've sponge-bathed her and taken her in the shower with me ever since. 

A few days ago I began to put her in the tubby again.  What a difference!  She now splashes and spins around and makes silly faces in the water. 

Those little noodle legs that refused to bear weight the first few days have grown stronger and stronger.  At first Daddy would hold her up and pull her along, but she'd just fall forward.  A few weeks later, Bronwyn proudly lifts each tiny foot and slaps it down on the floor as she tries to walk.

When Bronwyn first met the puppies, they mutually agreed to have nothing to do with each other.  Within a couple of days, Darla & Dwayne discovered that babies drop food.  They come running if they hear the buckle on her booster seat snap into place, and then hover hopefully.  Soon Bronwyn decided she liked the two furry friends, and loves to scratch them under the chin. 

She's gone from baby food and formula to eating just about anything.  Our first Superstore adventure, I had Adrian along.  He wanted a cookie.  I got one for little B too, and broke off a small piece without any chocolate in it.  I handed that to her and set the rest of it on some groceries behind her.  I picked up a bag of bread and when I turned around she had somehow managed to grab the entire cookie.  She was so proud of herself - and ate the entire thing.

Each one of the older kids has a unique connection with Bronwyn - and as much as we are blessed to have her in our family, I see she is blessed with these older siblings that love on her with smooches and laughter and playing. 

It's hard to believe it's already been a month.  It's hard to believe it's only been a month.





Home again, home again. Jiggity jig!

Our last day in China... "Follow the Pandada flag!"  One of our guides - Vivian - led us through Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City.  Our group always looked for the Canada flag with the Panda holding the red maple leaf.

Bronwyn, Dean and I at Tiananmen Square.

The gentleman standing to the right of me was a real gem!  He and his wife were accompanying their daughter and son-in-law and some more family as they came to pick up their daughter in the same province as we picked up Bronwyn.  We were quickly adopted ourselves by this wonderful family.  They were a huge unexpected blessing on this trip of many unexpected blessings.

Little B slept a lot as we walked through the square and on to the Forbidden City palace.  It was so hot that she usually had a mild heat rash on one cheek from laying against my chest. 

Now that we are back in Manitoba, it's hard to believe we were really there, exploring all the places that date back to before our country was even founded.  Even the brick walkways in this court yard are over 600 years old. 

Our last afternoon in China we had a farewell dinner together with all the other FOI adoptive families, and they brought in a couple of performers for the kids.  As usual, the food was delicious. 

When we returned to the hotel Bronwyn received her official letter from the Canadian Embassy, declaring her a Canadian citizen!



That's the last step before we can leave for home.  By this time, homesickness is always lurking in the back of my mind. 

FINALLY!!!  We are on the plane... but the plane is still on Beijing tarmac...

... and still on the tarmac...

... and still on the tarmac...



3 hours after being seated on the plane, we take off.  Bronwyn fell asleep shortly after, and slept till about half an hour before we landed in Vancouver.  What a gift! 

I, on the other hand, had a minor melt down.  Dean took the baby and I sat and cried.  I suddenly wanted to be home so bad, and we suddenly seemed very far away...  18 days in a hotel without my kids... a new baby... being on an airplane (which I still hate, even though we've been on 6 flights in 3 weeks) - it all added up to be very overwhelming.  I had what I came for, now I just wanted to be at home.

When we landed in Vancouver, we were paged to meet our party.  Our party?  To our surprise, Dean's cousin, Jennifer, had come to meet us at the airport!  She brought all sorts of snacks, as well as a beautiful gift for Sweet B.  She drove us out to Steveston and bought us a fresh haddock lunch on the dock.  It was exactly what we needed. 

We landed in Winnipeg and took at taxi to the Greenwood Inn at 1:35a.m.  We were exhausted, but it was early afternoon according to Bronwyn's clock.  We were all hungry and finished off all the snack that Jennifer had packed for us back in Vancouver.  That little thing was in no mood for a sleep!   We got her down for just over an hour.  Then Dean continued to sleep while B and I showered, played and she ate. 

At 8 a.m. she finally fell asleep and so did I. 

We slept till 11:30 - when we had to leave the hotel.  Ugh!

Now to stay awake until bedtime on Manitoba time!

The introduction to her carseat went better than expected.  At first she was just hesitant...

Then somewhat curious as to why she was strapped in...

And finally, just distraught that I wouldn't take her out as we drove home.

I was concerned that the older 4 would feel hurt when they met Bronwyn, since she generally won't go to anyone except Dean and I.  Especially now that we are in a new place again.  But she did great.  She's seen them on skype so many times, and we've paged through her little album over and over.  She hesitantly went to sit with the kids one after another. 



It was love at first sight for all of us, and little B is a perfect fit in our family. 

By this point she was so incredibly tired.  A little crying and she rolled over in her crib and had her first sleep in her very own bed.

A Gift to Us (May 9 & 10)

Before we received Bronwyn, I was quite eager to visit the SWI she had been in for care.  Now, we were given permission, but we decided against going to the orphanage. Our guide is managing 15 families here (not just FOI) and so she is very busy. She couldn't come with us, it would be over 6 hours of driving in one day and no one would meet us in Baoji.   The orphanage director gave me photos of B in care, with the other babies, in front of the orphanage sign and with the caregivers.  We were given 2 opportunities to ask questions of the caregivers and director, as well as several items from her year in care.  The director also gave us his email address so that if we have any questions later on, we can still ask and he will answer.  He was such a kind and friendly man.  He seemed to really love little Bronwyn, and spoke to her gently several times. I have chosen to be content with that.

The last two days we did quite a bit of touring. 

I’m relieved to say that this crazy traffic doesn’t even faze me anymore.  Although, after several different taxi rides, Dean and I think we notice a difference between the older and younger drivers.  The older guys are not as aggressive – the ride is smoother.  They still zip between pedestrians and slip in and out of traffic, but the picking up speed and slamming on of brakes isn’t so strong.  We have experienced that the younger taxi drivers drive like they are trying to win some sort of race.  To one driver we kept saying loudly in English (because he would understand us better if we were louder???) “We are not in a hurry.  Slow down a bit.” 

The drivers also talk on their cell phones a lot.  I’m not sure who they need to chat with so often, b/c if their wife or kids know they are at work – who keeps calling them?  The taxies have been stick shift, so the driver holds his phone with one hand and shifts and steers with the other as we zoom along.  They are extremely capable drivers, because we have all said we could never drive out here.

There are no seatbelt laws (or even seatbelts for that matter) for backseat passengers.  Neither are there any car seats.  So little B is loving sitting on my lap, watching all the busy-ness out the window as we drive.

In the last couple of days we have visited the City Wall (way more interesting than it sounds!) and the Wild Goose Pagoda (way less interesting than it sounds!).    We also spent a few hours at the Terracotta Warriors museum – which was really awesome.

Bronwyn is so good – she hangs out in the carrier.  She wants to always face in to me, though, so getting a good picture while I’m holding her is a little tough.  She has become a little eating machine, and I feel like I am feeding her snacks all day long.  We are running out of stuff that I brought to Xi’an, so it’s a good thing we are headed back to Beijing tomorrow.

She has allowed Dean to hold her as she fell asleep once, and a couple of times, if he’s feeding her something, she has sat on his lap.  Other than that, unless she has been asleep at night, I have been holding her.   Her breathing starts to speed up, and her little brow wrinkles if I start to set her down.  Tiny fingers grab for my shirt or skin and immediately she lays her head down on my shoulder.   So long as I am holding her, she is becoming braver and more outgoing.  She is starting to enjoy the attention from strangers – even waving at them and grinning (all while the arm around my neck is squeezing her body close to mine).

Bronwyn’s third night with us was really hard here. We went to a Chinese opera house to have a special dinner and musical show.  We got back to the hotel at 9:45 in the evening. She fussed and whimpered. She hadn't napped much b/c we'd been touring.
On and off from 10 till 1am she began to wail. Her cry is so soft and sad even when she just doesn't want me to put her down. But this was something else. I couldn't help but cry quietly along. She just was so incredibly sad. If I laid her down it escalated, so we rocked and walked and hummed till she finally fell asleep around 1 in the morning.
I don't really know this little baby yet, but if one of my others had been torn from everything familiar and was crying like that... I could just imagine what she was feeling.

She woke up a very happy baby, and is full of smiles. 
She just LOVES to eat, but her little body is having a hard time adjusting to new food and plenty of it.  After a bottle of prune juice and a full diaper, she is so relaxed and back to humming as she plays with her toys on the bed. 

We get stopped many times by curious people.  When they read our “adopted daughter” sign they are always so happy and give us the thumbs up.  Today several people stopped us and asked to have their picture taken with us and our baby.  They played with her cheeks and Dean gave them Canada pins.  They seemed to love it. 
Local people in the markets and on the street are quite bold to stare, smile and chat about us.  They are also very calm about walking up and taking B’s little hands or stroking her cheek. 
“What country?”  they point at us and ask. 
“Canada!” we proudly answer.
“You a good person!”  a few people have said. 
“Good luck to you forever!” another lady shouted.
“Lucky baby.  She a very lucky baby.”
I guess if they don’t have families to adopt the children from their SWI’s they see us as doing something wonderful.
I usually kiss B’s little head, hold her close and say, “We love her!”  I wish the language barrier didn’t make it difficult to explain.  I would like to explain that we are the blessed ones.  We are the “lucky” ones, as they put it.  And Bronwyn is a gift to us.

We have found each other

We have found each other.

That’s what people have said it looks like as I hold our little peanut.  She curls in to my chest as if she’s so relieved to finally be with us.

When little B was first handed to me she whimpered and cried softly.  I hummed in her ear and sang softly to her and she settled into my arms.  We walked around the room – trying to avoid eye contact with the two nannies that had brought her in. 

It was so special how quickly she melted into my lap.  By the time we left the office she had laid her head on my shoulder and she even dozed off on my chest as we took the bus back to the hotel.  We keep looking at her, and looking at each other and feeling amazed that she’s finally here.  

We are finally together.

It definitely feels like we have finally found each other.

Journey to China - Day 4 & 5

We have been in China for 5 days. 

I’m looking out the window of my 14^th floor room in Beijing, and still wondering how more people can fit into this city than are in almost 2/3 of all of Canada.

This place has reminded Dean and I a lot of California – specifically the way the mountains surround much of the city, so Beijing has been called “The Basin.”  The smog settles in heavy over the city into this “basin” and you can’t see very far.

But the people have been quite friendly (that might be because our faces scream tourist! and so they hope we will spend our money here). 

Our narrow goal (and still our main focus) for coming to China was to pick up Bronwyn.  She belongs with us, and we can’t wait to get her home to meet her sister and brothers. The touring has been wonderful, but there’s always a slight impatience in the back of my mind.  It’s like seeing this beautiful country is a great way to put in time while we wait for The Day.   But we have been pleasantly surprised at how much we are enjoying meeting the other adoptive couples that have come on this trip as well.  Maybe there’s something about the heart of an adopter – maybe we connect quickly because of a commonality somewhere in us that drove us both to this point.  Maybe we just like to be able to speak in English to each other for a portion of each day;)

It’s been so hot this past week, and it looks like it will continue to be 28 – 32 degrees for the next week.  It’s not muggy yet though, so it makes it quite bearable.   

On Saturday we walked along an outdoor market near the Earth Temple.  There were many older people out enjoying this park setting – dancing, playing traditional instruments from the Peking Opera, and singing.

There was a wrestling match in the park, as well as many pieces of exercise equipment.  

  

Dean and I shared lunch at a local KFC (ordering by ourselves was lots of fun!)  

We did a bit of haggling in the market for an additional suitcase, and then went to be lazy in the hotel.  We walked over to another nearby restaurant to share traditional Chinese food with some other families. 

 Sunday was a FABULOUS experience as we chose to explore the Stone Flower Cave on the outskirts of Beijing.  We took a taxi for an hour, ending up in the mountains of the rural portion of this area.  Here we have finally seen a few single-family homes, rather than the myriad and massive high-rises.  Very rustic!  We were dropped off a little ways up the mountain, and began to climb along the paved road.  Vendors selling knickknacks and local food items lined the sides and greeted us in Mandarin.

We entered this cave, and spent the next 2 hours climbing through levels and formations like we could never have imagined.  The pictures we managed to get are terrible – especially in light of our memories of an awe-inspiring experience.  Over and over the words from Psalms ran through my mind: “When I consider the works of Your hands…” 

And tomorrow we get baby B! 

China May 2-4th, 2012

We’re here!

China has been a good experience so far.  There were many English signs, so we found our way through the Beijing airport quite easily.  Our guide picked us up and took us to The Presidential Hotel.    Our first afternoon and evening (Wednesday) Yulin took us on the subway, then on a city bus, and then walking for a bit until we got to a mall.  She and I had our nails done, and while she settled in for a traditional Chinese massage (which looked very painful to me!) Dean and I wandered throughout the shopping centre.  I found this very cute little dress for Bronwyn.

We took a taxi back to the hotel that evening – and I can rarely if ever remember being that afraid in my life.  I have NO idea how the driver fit that car into the spaces he did, nor how he didn’t kill several pedestrians in our way.  Many times it seemed impossible that we would make it – but we did of course.  Before we left Canada, a girlfriend gave me a card reminding me to be “intentional” and “in-the-moment” each day.  As our taxi driver zoomed in and out of traffic I found myself whispering “Oh Jesus!” and “I don’t want to be in this moment!  I want this moment to be over!”

We have been able to skype with the kids back home and seeing them each morning and evening has been really helpful to my peace of mind.  THANK YOU Diane who is staying with our kids right now! 

Thursday we exchanged our US money into Renminbi (and felt extremely conspicuous as the bank put all the stacks of bills into a paper shopping bag with handles, that had their Bank of China logo all over it, for us to carry as we walked all the way back to our hotel).  Later in the day we met up with my good friend Cindy and her mother, as well as another couple from B.C.  Turns out – this couple knows Dean’s cousins well, where they live in B.C.  Small world.

We went to a traditional Chinese restaurant together and we so enjoyed this experience.  We had a private room with a round table.  The food was on a lazy susan in the middle, and we just spun it until the dish we wanted was in front of us to take from.  Outside our door the waiter and waitresses hollered and called out for who knows what, and in our cozy room we shared our adoption stories and listen to Yulin tell us more about herself and FOI. 

Friday was a wonderful Beijing experience.  We started out at 9:30 in the morning with our guide, Faye, along with Cindy and Elaine.  We took the subway to Old Beijing and took the Hutong Tour – including rickshaw rides, climbing the Drum Tower and watching an awesome drumming performance, walking along the river bridges, exploring the courtyard living spaces and eating at an Chinese Yoshinoya restaurant.

 

We rested a bit in the later afternoon, and then enjoyed dinner at Judehuatian – where we cooked our own dinner over a propane element in the middle of our table.  It turned out delicious!

We will spend Saturday and Sunday here in Beijing yet, and early early Monday morning we fly to Xi’an and get Bronwyn. 

More to follow soon!

We ask God for supply, and he gives us the Source

We leave tomorrow.
We fly out early, early Tuesday morning.  First to Vancouver, and then to Beijing.
And we've waited eagerly for this trip...

Today my my mind has been filled with "lasts."  The last time we get ready for church without Bronwyn.  The last time I practice violin with Kaden before we get back with his new sister.  The last time I tuck my boys in and pray with them, before we bring baby B home. 

I've read a lot of blogs and short stories from adoptive families.  I can understand all the anticipation of the adoption, and the joy of the new bonding and even the struggle to see how this new family looks and how everyone adjusts to each other. 
But I've never heard any one mention how hard it is to leave the other little ones behind. 

Carson made me a "spa" today - he likes to set out my bubbling foot soak tub, paint my finger nails (blue and pink glitter striped today), and put my hair in pony tails.  He massaged my arms and put on a movie for us to watch as he worked.  He sprayed perfume on me as well. 
Kaden said he would happily go to the dentist some time soon so he could earn an ice cream coupon and take me out to DQ.  For Kaden - that's huge (going to the dentist, that is).
We played Angry Birds on my tablet, and read stories in the living room.  It was a perfect Sunday afternoon and evening. 
Madison and Adrian have been gone all weekend at Youth Convention, so I feel like I've already lost a few days with them before we leave.

And we leave tomorrow. 
And we've waited eagerly for this trip... but the tears keep coming and I already hurt witho how much I will miss my kids.
So, besides my dislike of being in small, enclosed tincan-like spaces for hours on end, I am praying for peace in another way. 

And this morning I found this awesome piece:

In Luke 11 - "If you then, though you are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"

BUT when this similar statement of Jesus is mentioned in Matthew 7, it ends a bit differently -  "If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Why does Luke 11 specifically mention the Holy Spirit?  What if we weren't asking for the Holy Spirit? What if the gift we were asking for was something else?  Why is this "good gift" from Luke specifically named "the Holy Spirit" in Matthew?

"The answer to this question uncovers the beauty of the Spirit of God in our lives. 
Think about it this way.  Maybe you are going through a struggle in your life, and you are hurting.  So you go to God in prayer, and you ask him to comfort you.  Do you realize what God does?  He doesn't give you comfort.  Instead He gives you the Holy Spirit, who is the Comforter...

Suppose another time you are making a big decision in your life, and you need help.  So you ask God for help.  But he doesn't answer with guidance.  Instead he answers by sending the Holy Spirit, who is our Guide.  God sends the Helper, who will not only tell you what decision to make but also enable you to make that decisiion.

Yet another time you need discernment, and God gives you the Spirit of Wisdom.  At other times you need strength, and God gives you the Spirit of Power. 

This is the great promise of God in prayer.  We ask God for gifts in prayer, and he gives us the Giver.  We ask God for supply, and he gives us the Source."

David Platt, in his book RADICAL.